


Here at the End of All Things

by Draco_sollicitus



Series: Damerey Halloween Collection [2]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Facing Death, Gun Violence, Horror, If that's a term, Mild Smut, Smangst, Violence, Zombie AU, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 00:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16440014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/pseuds/Draco_sollicitus
Summary: After a virus wipes out a majority of the population, turning them into "Rotters," mindless, cannibalistic zombies that rove in packs and attack survivors, Rey and Poe connect and form an alliance.Six months later, Rey finds herself possibly infected, and struggles with the knowledge that she might soon join the hordes of Rotters that roam the continent. She asks Poe to make an impossible choice, and as they spend what might be her last few hours together, Rey struggles not to share her secret with him: she loves him.





	Here at the End of All Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I watch a zombie movie before bed! I woke up this morning and immediately had to write this! I hope it's not awful.
> 
> Warnings!!!!
> 
> Rey is attacked by Scavengers - a group of people who attack other survivors and take their things. When she mentions this to Poe, it is implied that he assumes she was sexually assaulted (she was not). She was, however, physically attacked.
> 
> Rey is also attacked by Rotters, and one snags her - she is unsure if she is infected or not, but as part of her fear of becoming a zombie she - (WARNING) - asks Poe to be the one to shoot her when she turns, so she doesn't become what she most fears/hates. (Poor Poe). 
> 
> There is also a short smutty scene, where most of the action is implied or described vaguely.
> 
> Another spoiler-y warning is in the end tag, regarding suicide (no one commits suicide in this fic, don't worry, just a warning)

A branch cuts across her cheek as Rey sprints through the thick growth of trees that surround the safehouse. Logically, she understands that no one’s following her – the Scavengers had scattered the second the Rotters showed up, leaving Rey to snag her haul and desperately sprint for the cover of the woods.

She knew without looking that the time was nearing noon – more than two hours after she promised to be back. Rey didn’t want to think about his reaction when she showed up covered in blood (mostly not hers), dirt, and what used to be someone’s brain. Her chest was burning, but she kept running, her long legs carrying her through the underbrush at a clip a Rotter definitely couldn’t keep up with, and most humans either. She’d medaled in track and field, the 400 and the 800, at States not even five years ago. It’s an odd thing to remember as she sprints for her life, but the day flashes across her mind anyway.

Up ahead, there’s a clearing in the treeline, where the road used to be, the path her truck had taken four hours ago. _“Be back in two!_ ” _she had promised, flashing a grin out the rolled down window._ Rey careens down the semi-cleared road, hops over the rolls of barbed wire, her shin catching on a barb slightly – just another thing to ignore – and she hurtles towards the solid steel entrance, which could be lowered from inside for cars.

“P-p—” she heaves, slamming into the wall full speed. She takes a shuddering breath, and slams her hands against the wall. “Poe.” She can’t shout, can’t risk it. Her back burns for reasons she doesn’t want to think about, her chest tightened past the point of breathing, but she forced herself to look up to the top of the wall.

“Jesus _Christ._ ” Poe, much paler than normal, stares back down at her. “What the fuck happened?” He lowers the rope ladder quickly, and Rey adjusts the duffel bags on her shoulders and begins her ascent, wincing at the throb in her ankle, the pull in her back. Poe grabs her hand when she reaches the top and hauls her to the guard tower. Rey lies down on her belly and pants, still unable to catch her breath after her mad dash through the woods.

Thank God some rich, paranoid asshole had built this place. It’s a massive house built into the side of a mountain, virtually impenetrable. When she and Poe had found it five months ago, she thought she’d died or was hallucinating – the compound had become a sort of home, a bizarrely safe oasis not too far from what used to be civilization, and with a whole stash of cars and gasoline in the basement too; but recently the Rotters have been getting closer and closer. And with who she’d stumbled into today –

“What happened?” Poe asks, patting down her arms and shoulders. His rifle is slung over his shoulder, and the sleeves of his flannel are rolled up to the elbow – Rey stares at him blankly, her body still fading out of fight or flight mode, and Poe continues to examine her in a cursory fashion. He hesitates before touching her face, but he pushes her hair out of her eyes and tucks it behind her ears, looking into her eyes with pained urgency. “Rey, talk to me, what happened?”

“I want to shower,” Rey whispers. She slides the duffel bags off her shoulder and offers one to him mutely. She walks through the guardtower and down the spiraling staircase; she can hear Poe lock and secure the door before following her, and when they reach the ground, he slides the concrete door shut and bolts that as well. They’re safe. Well. One of them.

Rey starts towards the house, and Poe jogs to catch up with her. “Rey, what _happened_? You’re – you’re two hours late—”

“I’m sorry.” Rey tightens her grip on her duffel bag but keeps walking.

“No, no – it’s – but Rey, where’s the car?” She shakes her head, terror gripping her throat, and shame holding her tongue. “Rey?”

They walk up the front steps together, and Rey lets the bag slump to the ground the second they’re inside, after Poe’s keyed in the six different access codes needed for the stainless steel doors to lift. _Thank god for rich assholes._ There’s even a private power generator, one that Poe thinks will last them another few years.

“Rey?” She doesn’t answer, but when Bee, Poe’s gorgeous Golden Retriever trots up to her, whining anxiously, she pats the pocket of her shirt and pulls out a Milkbone, one she’d found at the Walmart she’d ransacked three hours ago.

“Good boy,” she says distantly, patting Bee on the snout as he crunches happily. “Good …” she wanders away before Bee’s even finished his treat, and Poe follows her.

“I’m not mad,” he insists, tugging on her sleeve. Rey shrugs him off and climbs the stairs towards the bathroom with the nicer shower. “Seriously, we have – we have like five other cars, Sunshine, you’re just…you’re freaking me out.”

“Sorry,” she says dully, praying that he hasn’t noticed yet. She doesn’t know how she’s going to get out of this one, he’ll know eventually, but for now…

“What happened?” They stop in front of the bathroom door, and Rey’s hand freezes on the doorknob. “I’m not mad, I swear, but Jesus Christ, I am scared. Come on, talk to me, please—”

“I ran into Teedo,” Rey whispers, fiddling with the knob. She and Poe have talked a lot about their pasts, the good parts and the parts they aren’t too fond of, so she knows he knows the name. “And the rest of Unkar’s old gang.”

“What?” He looks horrified when she looks at him, and she realizes what it looks like, being covered in mud and blood and her eyes wild. “Holy fuck, Rey, what—”

“No.” She shakes her head and offers him a small smile. “No, not that kind of bad.” He shuts his mouth and nods, his jaw tight. He’s taken his rifle off by now, but she sees his hand go to adjust its weight on his back, a reflex movement; it’s oddly comforting, to know that Poe’s muscle memory is telling him to protect her. It also makes her feel sick to her stomach because the Scavengers aren’t Poe’s most pressing worry right now.

The Scavengers, as they were called, were the group she was forced to run with before she got out and found Poe. Her foster father Unkar had kept her under his thumb through trumped up declarations of “debt” and ownership even after she’d aged out of the system. Four months after the virus spread, Unkar had revealed that her parents were never coming back for her (she’d been staying with him partly due to his claims that he knew where they were, and he’d help her find them after she paid him back), and she’d snapped and shot him before escaping into the night with a couple cans of food and more than a few weapons.

A few weeks into being alone, Rey found a man cornered by Rotters and helped him fight them off; she and Poe had been traveling together ever since.

She’d assumed they’d died by now, or moved on to another state, but now…

“They saw me,” Rey continues, clearing her throat. “They swarmed the car and forced me to get out and give them the keys.” She shrugs and lifts the front her shirt slightly, to show the horrible, mottled bruise forming. “They didn’t like it when I tried to stop them.”

Poe hisses between his teeth and swears in Spanish, but Rey soldiers on.

“That’s not the worst part.” Rey clears her throat and closes her eyes. “I just – I’m not sure what happened, but they weren’t being quiet, so…they came.” She sniffs and wipes her nose. “I’m – I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to grab the keys, and they swarmed us, and they went for the men first because they were being louder and they were grouped together, so I ran as fast as I could—”

“Don’t apologize,” Poe begs her, interrupting what she was about to say. “You got out. You’re way more important than a car. They didn’t get you, that’s what matters.”

“That’s the thing,” Rey says brokenly. “They did get me.”

“What?” Poe’s voice is sharp now, furious. “They – did they _bite_  you?”

Rey shakes her head, forcing herself not to cry. “No.” Poe heaves a sigh of relief. “But I think one of them scratched me.” It had happened so fast – she thought she’d picked a clear path, out of danger, but one had been hiding behind a tree (she was only five miles from the compound when it had happened) and had lurched out to grab her.

Poe’s staring at her in horror, and Rey shakes from the anxiety clawing at her throat. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I – I know you needed the supplies, so I tried to get b-back, even if you didn’t want me to, I figured … I don’t know what I was thinking, but it took me so long because I kept leaving false trails, so they couldn’t find us…and now…” She stops talking and opens the door to the bathroom, closing it tightly behind her, leaving her friend and ally frozen in the hallway.

Poe thankfully didn’t follow her or knock on the door, and after showering and furiously scrubbing her body clean, Rey stares at herself in the mirror. “Now or never,” she whispers. She wipes the rest of the steam clean from the mirror and twists to look at her lower back, where it had grabbed her through her shirt.

She can’t see a damn thing, the angle’s all wrong. Rey wipes her eyes and grips the side of the sink, her chest heaving painfully, trying to compose herself. After counting to a hundred, she calls out shakily. “Poe?”

The answer is immediate – he must have been waiting outside the door. The thought makes her heart clench.  “Do you need me?”

 _Yes._ Rey pulls on her shirt and wraps the towel around her waist, as though privacy is going to make any of this easier.

“Can you – Can you come check something for me?”

“Yeah.” There’s a pause and then, “Do you want me to come in right now?”

“Yes please.”

Poe walks in, and she sees he’s holding their first aid kit, the one they’ve scrapped together over the last few months. He was definitely waiting for her to ask him for help, and Rey appreciates it, appreciates him – unbidden, she thinks _I love you,_ the words desperate to emerge from her throat.

It isn’t the first time she’s thought the words and then forced them back out of her mind, but Poe’s 33, and gorgeous, and funny, and has _lived,_ and she’s just a pesky kid who fucking got herself infected, and now –

Rey turns and lifts her shirt so he can see where it hurts the most. “How bad is it?” She asks, trembling. Poe, to his credit, doesn’t react visibly or audibly, instead skating his warm hand over the area. She whimpers when he pushes against a certain spot, and there’s more than a flicker of concern in his eyes before he digs through the first aid kid and comes back with a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide.

“This might sting a bit,” Poe whispers, and Rey nods. She hisses a second later as the freezing cold sensation boils into her blood. “Sorry.”

 _Say it._ “Don’t waste too much on me…until we’re sure.” She sees Poe nod in the mirror. She also sees a single tear fall from his eye and get lost in his thick beard.

By the time she turns around, pulling her shirt back down, he’s clear-eyed. “So?” She asks, not sure if she wants an answer.

“I can’t tell what it is,” Poe says softly. “The skin is definitely broken, but it’s not red around it. It could just be a branch that got you.”

“I felt it,” Rey shudders. “I felt it grab me, right there.”

“You could be conflating the memories,” Poe points out logically, and Rey wants to take the lifeline he’s offering her, but she’s also always been fatally realistic. “No point in giving up hope yet.”

“Yeah.” She grins at him and then makes a face, forces herself to make a silly face, at the dirt on her clothes. “I think I’m going to change.”

Poe smiles, relieved that she’s talking normally, and takes his leave. He walks down the stairs to go double check the guns and her haul, and Rey wastes precious minutes picking out a comfortable outfit that isn’t totally hideous. If she’s going to die, she’ll do it looking halfway decent. She even drags a brush through her snarled hair, thankful that Poe had been horrified enough four months ago when he learned of her haircare regimen that he’d insisted on looting conditioner on his next trip; it makes it a little easier to neatly comb her hair out, leaving it loose around her shoulders.

When she wanders back downstairs half an hour later, Poe’s sitting in the kitchen, reading a book that she knows he’s read a dozen times. She thinks it might be his favorite, and her stomach hurts from the realization that she’s never thought to ask. Rey fidgets with the thing she’s holding behind her back, and clears her throat. Poe looks up with a smile, but it fades when he sees her expression. She’s glad she can’t see herself right now.

 “You have to kill me,” Rey whispers. “If I…”

Poe stares at her, his book abandoned in front of him, open torment on his face.

Her request is cruel, she knows. She knows he’s done it before, knows there are ghosts in his past that he’s had to overcome. She’s heard him screaming their names at night, sometimes, the friends he had to kill to save his life, to save others from them after they….

“I’m sorry,” Rey says again. “I’m so, so…” She hands him a handgun, her favorite one, and walks away to sit in silence.

According to her watch – the pretty one that Poe had found for her three months ago, bright green with a gold face – she was attacked 170 minutes ago, which means she has roughly 550 minutes before…before she knows for sure. It’s not an exact science, but she and Poe both have learned from painful, personal experience that twelve hours is the incubation period for the virus. After twelve hours, she’ll stop speaking. After thirteen, she’ll stop thinking. After fourteen, she’ll start killing.

Walking into the improvised greenhouse on the second floor, Rey sits cross-legged in front of her beautiful plants and meditates, the way her old teacher Luke taught her. Poe had helped her plant all these flowers and herbs and succulents over the last four months, after the initial getting-to-know you phase had ended. Normally, it would have taken Rey much longer than two months to start trusting someone, but Poe was, _is,_ reliable. She trusted him to watch her back. She trusts him to protect her. She trusts him to kill her when it’s time. She trusts him. She loves –

She shakes, violently, for the first three hours. She can sense that Poe stops by the open door sometimes, but he’s working on the radio, still. Every day, he updates the transmission, the one playing on a loop, asking whoever’s out there to answer.

Poe’s an optimist. She loves that about him. He hopes when she can’t. She hopes that he isn’t wasting any of that hope on her surviving this.

At five o’clock, around hour four of her self-elected isolation, Bee wanders in and sits down next to her. Rey shoos him away with her hand, swatting at the air, but the golden retriever huffs spectacularly and stretches out. He regards her with doleful eyes and then settles his beautiful muzzle, smacking his lips expressively before his eyes shut. Rey stares at him, angry, so fucking angry that this dumb dog won’t move, and then she bursts into quiet sobs. She can hear Poe on the radio downstairs, talking in a low voice in case anyone is out there – whoever this Leia is, she hopes she responds soon, she wonders if Poe loves her the way Rey loves him – and Rey lies down on her side, slowly, sliding across the hardwood floor of what must have been a yoga studio at some point, and buries her face in Bee’s warm, soft side.

She sobs brokenly into his fur, her fingers twisting into the golden strands of his ruff.

_Four hours, twenty-six minutes remaining_

Poe walks in at hour six, and settles into a chair. “I have to mend some pants,” he says, hauling a basket of laundry behind him. “And the light’s best in here.”

Rey nods.

It makes sense – no point on turning on a light and wasting electricity until he has to, and these windows face west.

Before he sits down in the chair near the table, he pulls the handgun she’d given him from the back of his waistband and sets it on the table.

Rey nods again, and turns to stare out the window.

_Three hours, forty minutes remaining_

Poe might say he’s here to work on mending, but as twilight grows out the windows, he asks her an idle question about whether or not she ever wanted a dog growing up, and they start to talk to each other.

They’ve talked a lot over the last six months, but never quite like this. He knew she was a Scavenger, she knew he was military, but now they’re talking about something a little…more _._

Rey tells him about her happiest memory, the day she found a small possum hiding under a piece of scrap when she was twelve. The poor thing had been starving, and Rey had been able to nurse it back to health, was able to watch it totter off back into the wild after weeks of rehabilitation _._ She tells him this, and her eyes burn because _she doesn’t want to forget it._

She tells him her worst memory. “I’m not even sure it’s real,” she whispers, her hands tight on her knees, which are now to her chest. “But I dream about it all the time.” It’s the memory of her parents leaving her with Unkar and driving away. She wonders how much longer they lived after they abandoned her – and if they had done the cruel thing or the kind thing in leaving her with someone else.

Rey cries and wipes her eyes, and Poe doesn’t interrupt her. “I don’t want to forget that either,” she says brokenly. “I would have given anything this morning to never think of it again, but now…” Poe clears his throat, and he says he understands.

Now that she might lose it, even the memory of her worst day is precious.

_Three hours, twenty minutes remaining_

After he’s talked her down from crying so hard she might puke, Poe tells her about his mother, Shara (Rey knows he wears her ring, at the beginning, when she asked, he had told her he was supposed to give it to his partner, and he’d looked so sad when he’d said it, that Rey’s always assumed he lost someone).

“She was the bravest person I ever knew,” he says, fiddling with the silver jewelry that’s always around his neck. “Well…until I met you.” Rey stares at him, shocked. “My mother would have loved you,” he adds, voice cracking.

She’s been curious about it for months, and now she honestly might not have anything to lose, so Rey asks.

“Did you lose the person you loved?” Rey points to his ring when he lifts his eyebrow in question. “You know. The person who that ring should have gone to.”

“I’ve lost a lot of people I’ve loved,” Poe says matter-of-factly, and Rey nods because who the fuck hasn’t these days. “But I haven’t lost the person I’m meant to be with.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and grips the ring tightly in his fist. “She’s still alive.” There’s a stubbornness to his jaw at most times of the day, but it’s especially pronounced right now.

Rey looks to the window, and then away from it again, a brief moment to collect herself. It barely works, the disappointment and relief coiled so tightly inside of her. “I hope you find her,” Rey whispers, tears in her eyes as she smiles at him.

Poe stares at her, something dreadful and exhausted in his eyes. He looks like a man being led to his execution, and it hurts too much to maintain the eye contact, so Rey returns to looking out the window.

_Two hours, forty two minutes remaining_

After he’s gone through his full pile of mending, Poe asks if _she’s_ ever been in love, and Rey shakes her head. “Before the virus,” she shrugs. “There wasn’t ever any time. And if there was time…well, who’d want a skinny nobody.”

“You aren’t nobody,” Poe says, setting his needle and thread down. “You aren’t.” Bee wanders out of the room, and Rey has nothing to say to Poe’s opinion. “Who told you that?”

“There was a boy.” Rey stares at her hands and then back out the windows. “I thought I _could_ love him. He was … really, really rich, and I was really poor, but we bumped into each other somehow. This was two years ago. I thought…I thought he saw me as a kindred spirit, at least, that’s how I saw him. But it…it didn’t end well.” A fist slammed into dry wall near her head, a shouting match that had summoned the police, and when the officer, who knew the boy’s family personally, had asked him who he was with, he had looked at her and sneered _nobody._

“He’s an idiot,” Poe says firmly.

“Yeah, well, he’s probably dead now,” Rey says, finding it in her to grin at him. Poe grins back, and they sit quietly for a few more minutes.

_One hour, forty one minutes remaining_

Rey coughs drily, and Poe tenses. “Just thirsty.” He leaves the room briefly and comes back with a glass of water. He doesn’t return to his char and instead, he ends up sitting next to her on the floor. They lean against the wall, and they start talk about the places they’ve been.

Poe’s been to a lot of places, rarely by choice, usually for the military, either when his parents were moving around, or when he was after he joined the service.

“No real home. Something we have in common,” Rey jokes.

“We have a lot of things in common,” Poe points out, and Rey nods.

_Tell him you love him. Tell him. This is your last chance._

Rey opens her mouth. “Have you ever seen the Grand Canyon?”

She doesn’t tell him.

_Forty eight minutes remaining_

Rey scratches at her forearms anxiously, something she’d started a few minutes ago. With Poe out of the room, walking Bee, she can’t keep her thoughts organized and away from panic.

“Rey?” Poe’s back, and Rey looks at him, sees that he’s staring at her forearms, red and irritated from her nails. Instead of yelling at her, he clears his throat. “Do you want...d’you want me to hold you?”

Rey nods, her mouth trembling. She eyes the gun on the table, and Poe grabs it, reluctantly. His eyes are red when he walks towards her, the gun loose in his hand. She understands she’s asking for too much of him, but Poe, good, sweet, strong Poe will always help her. She loves him.

He sits behind her, and she sits between his legs. The gun sits next to them. They stare out the window together, and quietly, so quietly she might be imagining it, Poe sings to her.

Rey’s eyes drift shut. She’s exhausted. She knows he hasn’t slept either, he’s been too busy puttering she since got back and ruined everything. But Poe sings to her, and it washes over her, and she thinks if this is dying, it might not be too bad.

_Fifteen minutes remaining_

“I’m scared,” she admits. “I’m so scared.” Her body’s shaking almost too much for her to get the words out, and Poe’s the only thing holding her together, she swears.

The scratch of his beard is at her temple as he whispers, “Me too, Sunshine.”

She wraps his arms tighter around her, and prays it won’t hurt him too badly.

_One minute remaining_

“Poe,” She says, her thoughts fading into a quiet kind of peace, now.

“Yeah, Sunshine?”

“No, that’s it.” Rey settles in his arms and waits a little more. “Just wanted to say your name. Poe. Poe Dameron.” She wants it to be the last thing she says. It’s ridiculous and romantic and a year ago she would have scoffed at the idea, but she thinks she’s paid too much to have this much perspective and not change from it.

“Poe Bey Dameron,” he says, and Rey twists slightly in his arms to study his face. She can track his tears from his large brown eyes to where they disappear into the thick growth of his beard; she notices with great affection the way silver is starting to creep into his hair. “My mother’s maiden name was Bey.”

“Shara Bey,” Rey says, smiling at him. Poe doesn’t smile back. She turns to face out the window again – she understand it’ll be harder for him to look at her too much, before. “Poe Bey Dameron.” The press of his lips against her temple is undeniable.

_After_

Another hour passes, and Rey doesn’t feel any different. Poe’s arms tremble around her for the first half hour after the countdown ends, but soon he stabilizes, and he strokes her hair out of her face and studies her carefully, frowning. She stares back at him, frowning too.

They wait another hour and a half after that – at the point where she should have been gripped with fever, Poe places a hand on her forehead and then the back of her neck. The only thing Rey feels is the usual twist in her gut from having Poe touch her.

Fourteen hours after the attack, Rey sits upright and breathes deeply. “Is it – is it just delayed?” She asks tremulously. Poe stares at her and shakes his head.

“It would have – even if it was delayed, you’d feel _something._ How do you feel?”

She considers this for a moment. “Hungry?”

Poe laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corner, his teeth even and white and perfect as he throws his head back and laughs at her answer. Rey giggles too, and then groans because she really _is_ hungry, having not eaten in over a day. Poe stops laughing and looks at her in concern, the joy rapidly vanishing from his face. Rey pats her stomach with a sad face, and he chortles again, a bit more nervously this time; they clasp hands and rise from the floor.

He doesn’t let go of her hand as they head down to the pantry for some food. Poe offers to cook her something real, something with the meat they have stored for the winter in the freezer, but Rey shakes her head.

“Peanut butter and jelly?” She asks hopefully. “I mean, I almost died for it.” Poe gives her A Look, but he doesn’t comment on her gallows humor, clearly too relieved at her surviving this. It makes her stomach flutter to know he cares that much. She always knew Poe cared, even at the beginning when they barely knew each other, he cared. Poe cares about everything, has the time and energy and spirit and goodness to care about everything, in the way Rey’s never been good at.

He spreads the peanut butter across two slices of the bread he made two days ago, and without her prompting, carefully dabs strawberry jam into the middle of one piece. After pressing the slices together, Poe cuts the sandwich diagonally, her favorite way, and Rey bounces on her feet at the counter. She snags one half, tapping the other towards him, and Poe takes it with an eye roll.

“An untoasted toast! To not dying!” she proclaims cheerfully.

Poe doesn’t return the toast, but he does tap his half against hers. They both take a bite, Rey beaming, and Poe averts his eyes and puts his food down. There’s something brewing in his face, and Rey sets her own sandwich down in concern.

“Poe?”

“If you had—” Poe shakes his head, his face crumpling. He wipes his mouth and then his eyes, and he pinches the top of his nose, eyes squeezed shut. “Fuck, Rey, if I had lost you…”

“You didn’t,” she says quickly, stepping in close to him. “I’m right here, you didn’t lose me—”

“But I could have,” Poe says, and he almost sounds angry. Rey stares at him in shock, waiting for him to elaborate. His shoulders heave slightly, and he shakes his head again as though trying to dislodge an unpleasant thought. “You could have…I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”

“Yes, you would,” Rey says firmly. “You’re so strong, Poe, I hold you back all the time. Without me, you’d have more food, and more water, and…and you’d be fine.”

“Don’t say that.” His face is stormy, clouded by something bigger and more intense than she’d ever be able to imagine. “Don’t you…God, Rey, there were two bullets in that gun.”

She freezes, the realization settling cold in her stomach like a pit of ice. “W-What?” Poe doesn’t explain, just shifts his eyes away from her, his jaw working furiously. Rey grabs the front of his flannel and tugs viciously. “What did you say?”

“I said,” Poe growls, his eyes re-focusing on her face. “That there’s no fucking way I’d be able to do this without you. If you die, I die. You think – you think I’d be able to put a bullet in your head and walk away _fine_? You think that little of me?”

“No, but—”

“You think there’s anything left on this earth that could encourage me to keep going without you? You think I could bury you and move on, just accept that the only spot of sunshine left on this godforsaken planet is…at _my_ hands—”

“No, but Poe—”

“You think I could live with myself?” Poe whispers. “If I killed you? Rotter or not? You’d still be _Rey_.”

“But what about,” Rey pauses, licking her bottom lip anxiously, and examines his face. He’s staring at the floor again, his eyes red-rimmed, but he’s clearly done interrupting her. “What about your girl? Your partner, the one you said was still alive? You said you wanted a future with her.”

“Don’t you get it?” Poe addresses the counter at first, but he drags his eyes to hers, and she sees the same expression as before, up in the greenhouse, the expression of a man being led to die, a man on fire already. “There is no future without you.” Rey doesn’t understand. She doesn’t. He can’t mean… “You’re my partner, Sunshine. It’s you. It’s always been you.”

When she doesn’t respond, he drags the heel of his hand along his eyes, collecting the moisture there, and Rey’s still trying to grapple the storm of her thoughts when he starts talking again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to burden you with that, not when—”

“I love you.” The words spill out of her before she can take them back, and she claps a hand to her mouth. It’s enough to stop Poe from talking, and his eyes lift to her face, wide, disbelieving.

“What?”

She winces and lowers her hand. “I love you. Like…I _love_ love you.” She snorts at herself and drops her head, rubbing her temples. “Fuck, I’m so bad at this. I was telling the truth up there, I’ve never said those words to anyone, in any context, but…I am now. I love you.” She squints at him from her lowered lashes, and it’s his turn to stare. “…Say something? Please?”

“How long?” It’s two words, and not really the reaction she was hoping for after his previous confession, but Rey shrugs and stands up straighter.

“Since…since the fourth of July.” She smiles at the memory. “When you made the laser show in the movie room because fireworks weren’t safe. No one had never done anything that nice for me. It was so beautiful.”

“That was almost four months ago,” Poe says, shaking his head. He drags a hand through his beard, and Rey taps her fingers on the counter anxiously. “Can…I say this with absolutely no expectation, but…can I kiss you?” Rey’s eyes dart to his face again, where she can see that he is absolutely serious. Poe wants to kiss her.

“Yeah,” she gapes at him. “Yeah, that’d…that’d be fine.”

It seems to take an eternity as he crosses the three feet of space between them, his expression heady. Rey gulps – she’s seen multiple predators in the last twenty four hours, but she doesn’t mind it so much to see the look of a hunter on Poe’s face, in this context. “I gotta warn you,” he says in a low voice. “Once I start kissing you, I don’t intend to stop.”

“That’s also fine.” He reaches her and wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her in close to his warm, solid chest. Rey braces her hands on his shoulders, and they spend a few moments studying each other’s face.

“I might even try taking you to bed,” Poe murmurs, his eyes flickering to her mouth. “I wanna taste you, sweetheart.”

“Oh, fuck,” Rey says brokenly, surging forward for him, her hands sliding up his neck and into his hair. Poe groans in what’s clearly pleased surprise, his hands tight on her waist, one hand coming up to the middle of her back, holding her close to his body. Their lips slide across each other, and Rey discovers that for all of the filthy suggestion of his last statement, Poe kisses tenderly. It’s not a lack of passion, though – in fact, every moment of the kiss hints at his desperation to consume her – but, Poe’s mouth explores her own with care and devotion; he often takes breaks to dot kisses along her cheeks and nose, and a few times along her jaw, which earns him a groan from her throat.

His hands eventually come up to frame her face, and Poe’s tongue slips over her bottom lip. Rey opens to it, and while their teeth clack together initially, Poe pulls away long enough to adjust the angle, and soon his tongue is stroking along hers as his thumbs stroke her cheeks, and Rey’s absolutely lost in his arms.

“Bed?” She mutters hopefully, and Poe nods, releasing her but keeping her hands clasped in his. He kisses her knuckles, and Rey shivers deliciously at the look in his eyes.

“Bed.” They walk towards the stairs together, but once they reach the top, Poe turns left and she turns right, and they both giggle. “Yours or mine?” Poe asks, biting his lip before grinning at her.

“Yours,” Rey says, already heading in that direction. She pulls him along after her. “Yours, definitely yours.”

He doesn’t follow her right to the bed, and Rey stares at him as he walks to the bathroom, clearing her throat as if it say _excuse me?_

“I …” Poe blushes, embarrassed, and Rey wants to laugh because in six months she’s seen Poe blush maybe twice. “Whoever lived here before, they uh…they left like three boxes of condoms under the sink.”

“Three?” Rey giggles. “He either had a very active sex life or a very high opinion of himself.”

“One of the boxes is Magnums, so I’m going for the latter and the latter only.” Poe starts to walk again, but Rey calls after him..

“Wait.” He freezes and turns around.

“We don’t have to,” he says in a rush. Poe’s eyes are wide and earnest while he walks towards her and the bed again. “Shit, I’m sorry, I just assumed – we can – there’s stuff we can do that’s not sex, if –”

“No, I’m definitely fucking you,” Rey decides aloud, pleased to see that she can, in fact, encourage that blush to grow. She unbuttons her shirt for dramatic effect and shrugs it off, glad that she thought to put on her lacy camisole after her shower (glad that she showered). “It’s just…I have an IUD. I got it put in about a month before the virus spread, it’s good for another two years.”

“Oh.” Poe stands in front of her again, and his hands feel more nervous on her waist. “You’re sure? You want that with – I’m clean,” he adds in a rush. “I have – fuck, I even have paperwork, got it before my discharge, but you know, didn’t think in an apocalypse I’d have to carry it with me—”

“I trust you.” Rey says it simply, as though it were the greatest truth in the universe, and perhaps, in a way it is. “I trust you, and I want this, as long as you do.” They kiss again, and his hands skate up and down her bare arms, causing gooseflesh to prickle not uncomfortably in their path. “Oh – oh shit, I’m clean too, sorry.” She blushes and bites her lip. “I should mention…I might…I, uhhh…” She balks and looks at the bed in panic for a moment.

“Mention what?” Poe ducks a finger under her chin and guides her back to look at him gently, so gently she might break.

“I’m a …” Rey stutters to a halt. _What if this makes him change his mind? What if he doesn’t want someone without experience?_ No. Regardless of his response, he deserves the truth, but judging by the light dawning in his eyes, Poe’s already figuring that out for himself. “I’ve never…”

“Okay.” Poe nods and kisses her nose. “And you want to…with me?” Rey nods, her eyes closed to hide the embarrassed tears in them. He kisses her cheek and then her lips again, and she relaxes slightly. “So, we’ll go slow.”

“You still want me?” Rey asks incredulously, cracking an eye open. Poe stares at her as though she’d suggested that the earth was flat, or that they go for a walk covered in meat products through Rotter territory.

“I want you so bad,” Poe whispers, pulling her close again, and rubbing her back with a broad palm. Rey tilts his head and studies his face, finding nothing but the truth there. “Now, let’s figure out what you like.”

To get there, they spend time peeling layers off of each other. Rey’s breath catches in her throat and doesn’t return when she tugs Poe’s undershirt free, revealing the solid muscle of his torso. It’s not particularly defined, but the strength it promises – the strength she’s seen on more than one occasion – is intoxicating, and so is the way the muscles jump as she runs her hand along his chest and down his stomach to his belt. Poe watches her face the whole time he unbuttons her jeans, and Rey swallows forcibly when he drags the zipper down. She shimmies her hips to help him in his mission of tugging her pants down her legs, and then she does the same to his pants, after the belt’s been tugged free.

Before he lifts her camisole, as he stands in only his black boxers, Poe pauses and strokes his hands along her sides. “You’re so beautiful,” he says, leaning in to kiss her. Rey kisses him back eagerly, eager to have him naked and pressed against her, the molecules of her body on fire with this much desire, something she’s never felt before, something she didn’t think she could feel before Poe, before loving him this much –

“I’d want this with you,” Poe says thoughtfully, tipping his head back for a second, “In any universe. No matter what.”

She knows what he’s saying – even if they weren’t dropped together in the middle of hell, even if they were, essentially, the last two people with sanity and decency – she knows it because she feels the same way.

“I know,” she whispers, leaning in to kiss him again. They fall to the bed this time, and Rey marvels at the knowledge that Poe took the time to make his bed this morning; it must be a lingering effect of his military days. His room is much neater than hers, she notes as she looks around before he covers her body with his, his clothes actually put away, and –

She loses her train of thought when Poe drags his tongue along the column of her throat, his bare chest brushing against her camisole tantalizingly. Rey gasps, pulls him close, and they kiss again, deeper than before, her teeth in his bottom lip, his tongue almost fucking her mouth as he rocks against her. The hardness between her legs gives Rey friction she desperately craves, and she whimpers, rocking her hips against him with more deliberate movements.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Poe sits up, kneeling between her legs, and Rey surges up after him, not wanting to be far from his body for long. She pouts at him, and he cups her chin, running his thumb along her bottom lip. “Another thing – I love you.”

“Oh.” Rey’s eyes widen, and her toes curl involuntarily. “Really?”

“More than anything,” he swears. The next kiss is sweet, but then Rey nips his bottom lip again, and he’s groaning, and they work together to pull off her camisole, and Poe pushes her back down towards the bed, running an admiring hand between her small breasts.

“Can I—” He clears his throat and looks up at her. “How far into all this have you gotten?”

“Just kissing,” Rey says cheerfully. “Little bit of touching over clothes, but then the guy did something I didn’t like, so I bit him.”

“Oh, shit.” Poe grins at her, and then kisses her collarbone reverently. Rey purrs and cards her fingers through his hair. “You can bite me if you want. I won’t mind.” He winks at her, and Rey giggles. “I’ll ask before I do anything, sound good?”

“Mhm,” Rey says dreamily, and he kisses her neck some more. He pulls away to examine her chest openly, and rather than be embarrassed by the size of her breasts, Rey preens a little bit from the sheer desire in Poe’s eyes.

They continue to undress in stages, Poe exploring her body just as much as she explores his, and they test what works and what doesn’t work. Poe swears more than she’s heard him swear in the last six months combined when they’re both finally naked, and he’s pressed up against her. Rey’s on top to avoid pressure on the bruised cut on her back – the thing that had started all of this – and Poe mutters something about _hell of a view_ when she sits astride him.

He shudders under her, and Rey’s thankful for the ten or so minutes he spent working her open with his fingers and mouth, thankful for the orgasm that’s already unspooled through her like Ariadne’s string, and he kisses her about a dozen times as he guides himself to slip inside her.

“I love you,” is the only thing said for a few minutes, a soft exchange before he starts guiding her hips over him. Rey stretches out over his chest and buries her face in his neck, which smells of woods and smoke and something specifically Poe, groaning as he plants his feet in the bed to help thrust into her. Then, Poe’s hands grip her tightly, his hips picking up speed, and stuttered declarations of _only you,_ and _fuck, you’re so tight,_ and her personal favorite, _you feel so good, sweetheart_ start to permeate the air between them. Rey answers each one with a delicate kiss to the column of his throat, and soon she feels like she has enough control of her legs to sit upright, planting her hands on his chest, and start to move freely.

This has Poe throwing his head back and gripping her hips so tightly she thinks, hopes, prays there’ll be bruises later on. “Is this okay?” She pants. It feels really, very good for her, this angle, but some part of her is nervous that she’s hurting him.

“Mhm,” Poe looks absolutely wrecked, and even his hummed confirmation sounds shattered. “Yeah – yeah, ‘m just…’m not gonna last much longer.”

“That’s fine,” Rey sighs, her eyes fluttering shut. They open again when Poe reaches over with a shaking hand to strum at her clit, and while it does cause her to tighten around him, a fascinating sensation that has both of them groaning, she knows she’s too tense to come again. So, she tells him. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I want you to—”

His hips stutter, but soon they’re back on track moving together. “What do you want, sweetheart?”

“I want you to come inside me,” Rey answers honestly, and that’s all it takes for him to shatter completely.

Later, after he’s gone to fetch a towel from the bathroom and wipe her down carefully, an action that makes her blush from intimacy and not embarrassment of what her body looks like, Poe wraps his arms around her and kisses her shoulder lovingly.

Rey hums and sighs, burying her face in the pillow and wiggling backwards so her ass and back are flush to his front. “I love you,” she whispers, and he repeats it, still kissing her shoulder idly. He strokes her back a few times, and she winces slightly when his fingers pass over the sore mark from earlier today. _How has all this happened in a day?_ she wonders, dizzy from it.

Poe feels a little more tense though, and Rey turns around to look at him. “What is it?” She asks sleepily, her eyes drooping shut somewhat.

“It’s just…” Poe squints at her back and then strokes a hand around the cut some more. “It really does look like it got you.”

“Huh.” Rey frowns and considers it. “It could have had jewelry or something on it, and that caught my skin?”

“Maybe.” Poe wraps his arms around her and places his head behind hers on the pillow. “Not really like a Rotter to wear jewelry, though. People usually … you know.” _Strip naked in the final throes of insanity?_ Rey thinks, but doesn’t say aloud.

“Yeah.” They’re quiet for a moment, but Rey has to ask. “If it did get me…why didn’t I turn?”

“You know? I’m not gonna ask questions,” Poe laughs weakly, pressing his face between her shoulder blades. His next words are muffled as a result. “I’m too busy thanking the galaxy for not taking you away from me.”

Rey laughs in agreement, and despite the oddity of Poe’s assessment, she finds herself too tired from the last day to fight sleep for any longer, so she drifts off in his arms, content, safe, and loved.

***

They both startle awake to the undeniable crackle of the radio. Poe keeps one downstairs, and one in his room, and thank God because—

“ _Are you there? Poe Dameron, are you there?_ ”

“Holy shit.” Poe leaps out of bed and stumbles to the radio, grabbing the transmitter.

“Leia?” He says loudly, and Rey blinks more awake, rubbing her eyes and sitting up in bed, groaning at the pain in her back. “Leia, do you copy?”

The crackling anxiety of static fills the room and then –

“ _I copy. Good to hear your voice, Dameron._ ”

Poe laughs for a moment, his eyes wet, and Rey slips from the bed, wearing his discarded shirt. She crosses the cold floorboards, and Bee stretches and walks away from his small bed in the corner of the room.

The woman’s voice is gruff and professional as she addresses them. “ _Send your coordinates, Commander, and I’ll send someone to get you._ ”

“We have room here,” Poe says quickly. “If – if you need somewhere to stay—”

“ _Very kind of you, but Ami and I have things under control.”_ Leia sounds amused. “ _Unless you have something that can top an abandoned military bunker._ ”

“Ehh,” Poe grins at Rey and kisses her head before rattling off their coordinates. “Should I be expecting an armored convoy?”

“ _No_ ” Leia says. “ _But you can expect Han in a helicopter._ ”

“Perfect.” Poe laughs again, elated, and Rey’s still pretty sure she’s half-awake, but she’s trying to keep up. Her heart’s pounding – for a good reason, for once – and she stares at Poe while he takes some time to cover her face with kisses.

“ _Are you not alone, Poe?”_ Leia teases, and Poe winces like he’s a kid caught necking his girl (which, in a way, he is, Rey muses).

“No ma’am. It’s me, Bee—”

“ _That old dog survived_?”

“And Rey.”

“ _Rey_?” Leia pauses for a moment. “ _Well, I look forward to meeting them._ ”

“You too, Mrs…Leia…” Rey winces, but Poe just giggles and kisses her temple. It’s the happiest she’s ever seen him – and she’s seen him come so hard he swore he’d blacked out afterwards, a memory that still makes her blush even in the morning light – and he looks ten years younger.

“ _Oh, you sound nice,”_ Leia says cheerfully. “ _See you three soon. Han should be there in…oh…he says three hours, but let’s make it four because he’s going to be safe! Right Han?”_ Rey laughs with Poe, realizing that Leia’s yelling at this ‘Han’ in the background. “ _Oh, and…welcome to the Resistance, Rey._ ”

And the radio goes silent.

Poe picks Rey up and spins her around and around. “We’re getting out,” he laughs, delightedly. Rey squeals, her hands tight on his shoulders. “Leia found us!”

“I don’t know who Leia is, but I’m super excited!” Rey shouts back, and he roars with laughter. Rey slides down his chest until her feet are on the floor again, and Poe kisses her, his hands in her hair, a promise of a better future, a brighter tomorrow, one that is closer than ever before.

And it might be because Poe Dameron’s finally rubbing off on her, but Rey feels the beginnings of a new hope fluttering in her chest, one nurtured by Leia’s stern but compassionate voice, the idea of leaving here with Poe, and her own defiance of death. She feels _hope,_ real hope, for the first time in a long time.

Hope that they can do this. That they can survive this. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> (Spoilery warning): After Rey survives the twelve hour incubation period, Poe confesses to her that if he'd had to shoot her, he would have shot himself immediately afterwards.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading! I'd love to know your thoughts - this is a very new genre for me!
> 
> (Happy Halloweeeeeen)


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